Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

If you are like me, you have already heard about "flow". In two or three words, you will have learned that it's what happens when you are so focused on a task that you forget the time that passes. That it's a state to strive for, and that it brings happiness.

This is of course a rather rough summary. This book, written by the psychologist who developed the concept, explains in detail what it is. The New York Times Book Review wrote : “Important… illuminates the way to happiness”. I agree.

Summary

The first chapter covers the basics. It confirms what is repeated in everything that has to do with positive psychology or personal development, and that we may end up learning collectively one day:

Happiness is not something that happens. It is not the result of good fortune or random chance. It is not something that money can buy or power command. It does not depends on outside events but, rather, on how we interpret them. Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person. People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy.

– p. 2

It couldn't be clearer. Happiness does not depend on external circumstances. It depends on how we perceive those external circumstances. In fact, happiness, like any other emotion, is a mental creation.

Personally, until recently, I was not aware of this. I thought, as many people do, that I would have to work to achieve circumstances that would make me happy. Once I achieved those circumstances, I would have somehow crossed the finish line of life, and I would just enjoy my perpetual state of well-being for the rest of my life. I was in the field, and here is another confirmation.

Attention

This book brings a very interesting explanation to this phenomenon. Every day, we have a limited attention span. Even though we have an infinite potential of stimuli at our fingertips, we only pay attention to a tiny proportion of them. It is these stimuli that create our experience of the world. It is therefore very important to choose what we want to pay attention to, what we want to let enter our brain. But often we don't make this choice consciously, and our brain does its own thing. Because it has a negativity bias and is constantly looking for potential dangers, we are then prey to emotions that we perceive as negative, such as apathy, boredom, sadness, anger, despair, etc.

Flow is what happens when we take control of our attention. When it is entirely devoted to a specific activity, our brain is in order: all the negative emotions "by default" do not have the opportunity to show up. It is not surprising, then, that numerous researches have shown that the most pleasant, most memorable activities of a lifetime are those that have been lived in "flow".

What is "flow"?

To achieve flow, at least one of these conditions must be met:

• The activity we are undertaking is difficult, but close to our skill level. We can do it, but we have to use all our mental resources. We feel close to the goal, in control, but we are greatly stimulated.
• We are both aware of ourselves and carried away by the action. We see ourselves going and we think what we are doing is great
• Our goal is clear, and the clues that allow us to tell if we are close to reaching it are concrete and frequent.
• Our concentration is total. All our worries of the daily life evaporate and we think only of our current task.
• The fear of failure disappears. You feel in control, and you feel that if your efforts fail, it doesn't matter, because the important thing is just to get started.
• We lose our self-awareness: our identity becomes mixed with our activity. We feel connected with the outside world, which is very pleasant.
• Our relationship with time changes: either we have the impression that it passes very quickly, or on the contrary it is stretched. We realize with surprise that several hours have passed, or that a single minute seemed to last twenty.

Some people seem to have a particular ease in finding "flow" just about anywhere. I particularly liked the example of a worker who had been doing the same job for years at his factory, but still loved what he was doing. He didn't want a promotion, because he was good where he was, and all his co-workers agreed that he was irreplaceable. In the evenings, instead of going to the local pub to forget about his day, he tended to his garden and arranged small sprinklers so that they could produce rainbows at any time of the day. While most people would be unhappy in this type of job, he was able to find pleasure in it from day to day and create a good life for himself.

Which comes back to what I said at the beginning: happiness is not in the circumstances, but in our perceptions of them.

Impressions

I'm glad I read this book, because it is true that it gives a very relevant insight on an important aspect of happiness. I better understand that when it comes to activities that require effort, it is better to go against what our brain tells us: rather than tiring us, they will give us excitement, pride, and ultimately bring us more happiness.

That said, I recently read two books that also provided valuable insights (The Joy Diet. and Mindset), but which also made me laugh, and which motivated me enormously. They made their way onto my favorites list. The authors of both books were friendly, and while I was reading, I felt like I was a good friend to them. Flow is much more sober. The information is there, but given in a more systematic way.

For a gift to a fan of personal growth and positive psychology, give The Joy Diet. or Mindset. And if you want to better understand the why and how, Flow is for you.