The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, by Michael A. Singer

Without realizing it, I've read quite a few personal growth books in my life. I liked most of them, even though I usually had to take them with a huge grain of salt, and one of them even made it onto my list of favorites, all categories combined.But none of them have stood the test of time. None of them have managed to change my outlook in a lasting way, or to get me to adopt a new practice.

I think The Untethered Soul will be different. It explains things in such a vivid and simple way, even simplistic, that I don't think I'll be able to forget them anytime soon.

Summary

The Untethered Soule délivrée deals with mindfulness. “Mindfulness” as in “mindfulness meditation,” a meditation technique that involves observing our thoughts, emotions, and sensations without judgment. But this is not a book about meditation, because you don't need to meditate to practice mindfulness.

In fact, meditation isn't mentioned at all in this book. It doesn't discuss its psychological and physical benefits, nor does it offer tips on how to incorporate it into your daily life to help you refocus. Instead, it focuses on the theoretical foundations of mindfulness: what it's for and why it makes sense.

Impressions

I said that this book explains things with great clarity and simplicity. I would even say that I could summarize it in three points:

1- We are neither our thoughts nor our emotions. We are the person who observes our thoughts and emotions.

The idea that we are neither our emotions nor our thoughts is not new to me at all, and I thought I had understood it. But there is something about the way the author chose to explain it that made me realize that this idea was still a little abstract for me. Now I have very clear images in my head.

Now, I imagine a little man in a movie theater. On the screen, there I am, living my life. The little man watches everything that happens. The little man is also me. He watches the movie, and when he gets carried away by what's happening on the screen, he forgets that he's the viewer. He starts to take my life very seriously, he feels what I feel, and when I'm unhappy, he doesn't know how he'll ever get through it. But at any moment, he can look around, realize he's in front of a screen, and relax. He's not a prisoner of what's happening on the screen.

I see that, and I see Ginette. Ginette is the name I gave to the little voice in my head that chatters incessantly. She can't stop. I can imagine Ginette as a person next to me, telling me her often dramatic, contradictory, and absurd stories without even taking the time to breathe. Who is this person listening to Ginette? It's me. Who is Ginette? She's the garbage in my brain. She's not me.

Obviously, I could never silence Ginette, and that's not the goal, either. She doesn't just talk nonsense, and sometimes it's worth listening to her. But it can be good not to always take her seriously.

2- When we are happy, our hearts are open, and love and joy flow freely. To stay happy, we just need to never close our hearts.

That's silly advice. “Want to know eternal joy and happiness? Never close your heart.” Yeah, right, Mr. Singer.

Except that, strangely enough, I understood what he meant. You have to start from a place where you are happy. When you are happy, you don't have to force yourself, you love everyone. Life is beautiful, you feel generous, full of energy, and you think you're wonderful.

When we cease to be in this state, it is because we have become tense. Someone says something to us that worries us. We get angry, and suddenly we stop loving the person in front of us. We have blocked the flow of love and joy.

So how can we stay happy? We “just” have to never close ourselves off. That means that when these moments arise, we relax our shoulders, breathe, and literally imagine our hearts opening up.

I've tried this a few times recently (I don't have many problems at the moment, I must say). I'm usually a pro at closing myself off like an oyster at the slightest hint of abrasive language. Well, I found it surprisingly effective. I defused many things on my own that would otherwise have undermined me. Give it a try and see.

3- The most effective way to grow psychologically is to make the decision to be happy throughout our lives.

We are small beings on a big rock spinning around in a remote corner of the universe. We could die at any moment, and in any case, we are only here for a short time.

Knowing this, what do we do? We can suffer and feel sorry for ourselves, or we can make the most of our time on Earth. Or, let's be realistic, we do a little of both.

But I agree with the author: I believe that making the decision to be happy throughout our lives guarantees our psychological growth.

Let's take a typical situation as an example: getting fired from your job because you're not up to the task. I know myself, my natural reaction would be to shit myself. I would tell myself that I'm useless, stupid, and unlovable. Obviously, I would feel miserable. And I would wallow in my own misery, waiting for something to distract me or for me to get tired of being unhappy.

On the other hand, if I had decided beforehand that no matter what happened, I would remain happy, telling myself all these things would not be an option. I would have no choice but to find other ways to live with this reality. I would have to find ways to continue loving myself and others. I would have to work hard. I might succeed. And then, despite this unfortunate circumstance, I would remain calm and happy.

For me, that's what wisdom is all about.

Conclusion

As usual, this book should be taken with a grain of salt, but I believe that its clear and straightforward explanations will satisfy readers with a more skeptical and scientific mindset. I consider myself to be in this category, even though I am fairly tolerant of nonsense when it is balanced by more sensible comments, and I am open to making an effort to understand what the person is trying to say.

I would still advise you to skip the last chapter. It deals extensively with divinity and spiritual transcendence, and it went completely over my head. But otherwise, honestly, hats off. I finally understood things that I've been hearing over and over again for years.